real flight announcements?
(There are all real) Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land ... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as Hell everything has shifted." From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." "Last one off the plane must clean it." And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry ...Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...! Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was the asphalt!" Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
Jokes & Riddles - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
lol! those were great!
2 :
Thanks for the laughs. I really enjoyed your post.
3 :
lol your the best
4 :
lol...that was good
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Real flight announcements
Real flight announcements?
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land ... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as Hell everything has shifted." From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." "Last one off the plane must clean it." And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry ...Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...! Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was the asphalt!" Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
Jokes & Riddles - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." Oh dear god, are these real, or you just make them up?
2 :
i've actually heard one of these on southwest before.how funny. thanx for the laugh.
3 :
apperntly this happened to Cathay Pacific and China Eastern Airlines. Except they don't say "whoa big fella whao! or last one off the plane must clean it!" lol.. yes of course it is real. i always hear it on airplane announcments. im sure your not making this up, even if you are.. good job on predicting! LOL love the question hugggs -SmOoChZ-
4 :
No way!
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land ... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as Hell everything has shifted." From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." "Last one off the plane must clean it." And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry ...Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...! Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was the asphalt!" Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
Jokes & Riddles - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." Oh dear god, are these real, or you just make them up?
2 :
i've actually heard one of these on southwest before.how funny. thanx for the laugh.
3 :
apperntly this happened to Cathay Pacific and China Eastern Airlines. Except they don't say "whoa big fella whao! or last one off the plane must clean it!" lol.. yes of course it is real. i always hear it on airplane announcments. im sure your not making this up, even if you are.. good job on predicting! LOL love the question hugggs -SmOoChZ-
4 :
No way!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Is 30 minutes enough time to catch a connecting flight
Is 30 minutes enough time to catch a connecting flight?
I dont travel often so I don't know. What do you think? The airport is Memphis, TN (MEM). The one flight arrives at 7:43am and the other flight leaves at 8:11am.
Air Travel - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Not really, most airlines close their gates 20 minutes before departure, and unless the gate of your first arriving flight is right near your connecting flights gate, you probably won't make it. If your 1st flight is just a few minutes late as many are, you don't have a chance. One hour between flights is probably the minimum amount of time you should leave yourself for connecting flights.
2 :
J, here is the deal on this. If this is a connection on the same airline, then it probably will be OK, as there is not a long walk between the two aircraft, and you will be checked in on both aircraft at your origin. The airline will know that you are on-board the inbound aircraft. If this schedule popped up when you checked availability, then it will be OK. You will just have to hustle to change aircraft. The walk will not be that much distance. Regards, Dan
3 :
In words of one syllable - No. Most airlines expect you to check in at least 30 min before departure and boarding stats 20 min before departure.. You will be checked through, but depending on where you are seated on the first flight it can take at least 10 min to get off, even assuming that by some miracle the flight arrives on time. You then have to change gates. 30 minutes is too fine a margin.
4 :
o gosh no!! u need to make changes not even 2 hours is enough you wont be able to catch it
5 :
I had this happen to me once. I had to run though the airport in order to catch my flight before the gate closes, which was in 10 minutes because the gate closes 20 minutes before the plane departs. I managed to make it in time...barely and that was because it was so late at night that there was almost no one in the terminal. I suggest you find another connecting flight that gives you more time to connect.
6 :
No way.
7 :
No. Memphis is not fun to navigate around. And since you're likely Flying northwest, you will probably be delayed.
8 :
The terminal at Memphis is really tiny, but even so that's pretty tight. Are the two flights on the same carrier? Bought as one itinerary? The reason I ask is that they won't sell you a ticket for a connection they don't think you can (normally) make. It would be bad business to do so. Also the 20 minute cutoff does not apply to that situation.
9 :
If you are buying the ticket and are given a 30 minute connection time, then no problem. The airlines knows how much time it takes to connect. The airline I worked for had a 20 minute minimum connection time. If you are buying two separate tickets, you will want more time. You may have to check in again in Memphis, and possibly re-check your bags.
I dont travel often so I don't know. What do you think? The airport is Memphis, TN (MEM). The one flight arrives at 7:43am and the other flight leaves at 8:11am.
Air Travel - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Not really, most airlines close their gates 20 minutes before departure, and unless the gate of your first arriving flight is right near your connecting flights gate, you probably won't make it. If your 1st flight is just a few minutes late as many are, you don't have a chance. One hour between flights is probably the minimum amount of time you should leave yourself for connecting flights.
2 :
J, here is the deal on this. If this is a connection on the same airline, then it probably will be OK, as there is not a long walk between the two aircraft, and you will be checked in on both aircraft at your origin. The airline will know that you are on-board the inbound aircraft. If this schedule popped up when you checked availability, then it will be OK. You will just have to hustle to change aircraft. The walk will not be that much distance. Regards, Dan
3 :
In words of one syllable - No. Most airlines expect you to check in at least 30 min before departure and boarding stats 20 min before departure.. You will be checked through, but depending on where you are seated on the first flight it can take at least 10 min to get off, even assuming that by some miracle the flight arrives on time. You then have to change gates. 30 minutes is too fine a margin.
4 :
o gosh no!! u need to make changes not even 2 hours is enough you wont be able to catch it
5 :
I had this happen to me once. I had to run though the airport in order to catch my flight before the gate closes, which was in 10 minutes because the gate closes 20 minutes before the plane departs. I managed to make it in time...barely and that was because it was so late at night that there was almost no one in the terminal. I suggest you find another connecting flight that gives you more time to connect.
6 :
No way.
7 :
No. Memphis is not fun to navigate around. And since you're likely Flying northwest, you will probably be delayed.
8 :
The terminal at Memphis is really tiny, but even so that's pretty tight. Are the two flights on the same carrier? Bought as one itinerary? The reason I ask is that they won't sell you a ticket for a connection they don't think you can (normally) make. It would be bad business to do so. Also the 20 minute cutoff does not apply to that situation.
9 :
If you are buying the ticket and are given a 30 minute connection time, then no problem. The airlines knows how much time it takes to connect. The airline I worked for had a 20 minute minimum connection time. If you are buying two separate tickets, you will want more time. You may have to check in again in Memphis, and possibly re-check your bags.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
I have a connection going from Atlanta to Cincinnati in Memphis. The connection time is 38 min. Is this good
I have a connection going from Atlanta to Cincinnati in Memphis. The connection time is 38 min. Is this good?
Both flights are on Delta and the airport website says all Delta flights are on Concourse A in Memphis Airport. So is 38 minutes enough time to connect in Memphis before going to Cincinnati? Flight date is a Thursday and gets into Memphis at 918 and leaves for Cincinnati at 9:56. Help Please!
Other - United States - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You have to realize that flights board 30 min. before they take off and close sometimes about ten minutes before take off time. If the terminals are close, then you will make it, but if the plane has trouble parking, which happens more often than you think, you could really be cutting it close. This would make me a little nervous, but you will probably make it.
2 :
It is possible that the plane you arrive in Memphis on is also the plane that you will leave Memphis on, in which case they would have to wait til you got there to leave anyways! You might be able to find out if this is the case by calling the airline.
Both flights are on Delta and the airport website says all Delta flights are on Concourse A in Memphis Airport. So is 38 minutes enough time to connect in Memphis before going to Cincinnati? Flight date is a Thursday and gets into Memphis at 918 and leaves for Cincinnati at 9:56. Help Please!
Other - United States - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You have to realize that flights board 30 min. before they take off and close sometimes about ten minutes before take off time. If the terminals are close, then you will make it, but if the plane has trouble parking, which happens more often than you think, you could really be cutting it close. This would make me a little nervous, but you will probably make it.
2 :
It is possible that the plane you arrive in Memphis on is also the plane that you will leave Memphis on, in which case they would have to wait til you got there to leave anyways! You might be able to find out if this is the case by calling the airline.
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