Witty Airplane quotes!?
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land ... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as Hell everything has shifted." From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." "Last one off the plane must clean it." And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry ...Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...! Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was the asphalt!" Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
Jokes & Riddles - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
omg!!!! i m never going by air again!! lol hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahha these r awesome!!
2 :
LOL That was great I can't stop laughing everybody is looking at me really weird, oh well. Keep them coming!!
3 :
There were some good ones in there. Keep sharing
4 :
Hi catswimmer You know your going to be a super star don't you. what more can i say? oh yeah i don't suppose you know any good cruises do you !!!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
how much Valium should i take for a plane ride
how much Valium should i take for a plane ride?
I'm 18 years old and i weigh 130 and my Dr told me take one last nite to see if i have any side effects.i did not have any side effects. i could not tell if it was working last nite i felt the same should i take two for my plane ride because I'm really afraid of the plane ride and i just want to sleep thought the plane ride its a 4 hour flight from lax to Memphis and valium is 5 mg
Air Travel - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Go ahead. Being drowsy would be much better than being in pain.
2 :
Careful! All drugs are stronger taken during a flight. The same dosage on the ground is much more potent in the air. I'm a former Flight Attendant and I had quite a few passed out passengers on my flights, all of which were somehow drug related, and not illegal either! They drank a little wine with dinner and didn't know that it would mix badly with their blood pressure medications, etc. I've had trouble waking some (but they were okay). I'm not even sure that Valium is a good choice for flying. You may do better with something specifically for anxiety. Knocking yourself out may not be the best idea. You may want to see a psychiatrist to get more insight and perhaps a more precise medication. Flying is very safe and most fears are control-based, not because you actually feel danger. Just talking about it might help. Good luck and hope the flight goes smoothly.
3 :
The above answer is very good except for the fact that valium is an anti-anxiety drug with the side effect of drowsiness for most people who don't use the drug on a regular basis. The effectiveness of the drug also depends on whether you take the drug on a full or empty stomach and how often you use the drug. To get the benefits you're looking for, you should take the drug at least two hours after your last meal. 10 mg is a common dosage, but how it affects a person will vary depending on the person. On a four hour flight, you may have a difficult time waking up at your destination if you take 10 mg, but that may be also be true for 5 mg for some people. I'm not a doctor or pharmacist so I don't think I'm the one to tell you how much to take, but I do know from experience that those type of drugs work much better on an empty stomach. Good luck.
I'm 18 years old and i weigh 130 and my Dr told me take one last nite to see if i have any side effects.i did not have any side effects. i could not tell if it was working last nite i felt the same should i take two for my plane ride because I'm really afraid of the plane ride and i just want to sleep thought the plane ride its a 4 hour flight from lax to Memphis and valium is 5 mg
Air Travel - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Go ahead. Being drowsy would be much better than being in pain.
2 :
Careful! All drugs are stronger taken during a flight. The same dosage on the ground is much more potent in the air. I'm a former Flight Attendant and I had quite a few passed out passengers on my flights, all of which were somehow drug related, and not illegal either! They drank a little wine with dinner and didn't know that it would mix badly with their blood pressure medications, etc. I've had trouble waking some (but they were okay). I'm not even sure that Valium is a good choice for flying. You may do better with something specifically for anxiety. Knocking yourself out may not be the best idea. You may want to see a psychiatrist to get more insight and perhaps a more precise medication. Flying is very safe and most fears are control-based, not because you actually feel danger. Just talking about it might help. Good luck and hope the flight goes smoothly.
3 :
The above answer is very good except for the fact that valium is an anti-anxiety drug with the side effect of drowsiness for most people who don't use the drug on a regular basis. The effectiveness of the drug also depends on whether you take the drug on a full or empty stomach and how often you use the drug. To get the benefits you're looking for, you should take the drug at least two hours after your last meal. 10 mg is a common dosage, but how it affects a person will vary depending on the person. On a four hour flight, you may have a difficult time waking up at your destination if you take 10 mg, but that may be also be true for 5 mg for some people. I'm not a doctor or pharmacist so I don't think I'm the one to tell you how much to take, but I do know from experience that those type of drugs work much better on an empty stomach. Good luck.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
read this,courtesy yahoo groups
read this,courtesy yahoo groups?
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in- flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." 2. Pilot-"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." 3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride. 4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" 5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." 6. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. 7. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." 8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments." 9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." 10. "Last one off the plane must clean it." 11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...! 12. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" 13. Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." 14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I as you a question?" "Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?" 15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until 15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal. 16. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
Jokes & Riddles - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
awesome, where's the rest!
2 :
Funny!
3 :
so good - but where is the ending - you can't leave us hanging like this - it's like a tough landing!
4 :
until what? or is that the joke
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in- flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." 2. Pilot-"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." 3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride. 4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" 5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." 6. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. 7. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." 8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments." 9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." 10. "Last one off the plane must clean it." 11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...! 12. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" 13. Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." 14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I as you a question?" "Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?" 15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until 15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal. 16. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
Jokes & Riddles - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
awesome, where's the rest!
2 :
Funny!
3 :
so good - but where is the ending - you can't leave us hanging like this - it's like a tough landing!
4 :
until what? or is that the joke
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
jokes on air plight
jokes on air plight?
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in- flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." 2. Pilot-"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." 3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride. 4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" 5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." 6. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. 7. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." 8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments. "
Jokes & Riddles - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
So, what's the question?
2 :
LOL - uh, thanks for a good chuckle, but I seriously doubt that most of these statements were actually made!
3 :
great jokes!
4 :
enjoyed
5 :
I was actually on a plane where the pilot did say "Whoa, big fella!" upon a particularly rough landing.
6 :
Thanks for the laugh, i makes me want to work on a plane so i can try them out and see what the response would be.
7 :
Ha Ha. Thatrs funny.
8 :
lol thanx
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in- flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." 2. Pilot-"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." 3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride. 4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" 5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." 6. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. 7. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." 8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments. "
Jokes & Riddles - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
So, what's the question?
2 :
LOL - uh, thanks for a good chuckle, but I seriously doubt that most of these statements were actually made!
3 :
great jokes!
4 :
enjoyed
5 :
I was actually on a plane where the pilot did say "Whoa, big fella!" upon a particularly rough landing.
6 :
Thanks for the laugh, i makes me want to work on a plane so i can try them out and see what the response would be.
7 :
Ha Ha. Thatrs funny.
8 :
lol thanx
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